देसी हिंदी चुटकुले 2016

1. EvEry Girl NEEds A Boyfrnd.....$$$$.....$$$$
2. Bcoz,
3. EvEryday EvEry MinutE
4. SomEthing GoEs Wrong In HEr
5. LifE.....$$$$.....$$$$ Which ShE Cant BlamE
6. On God Or GovErmEnt.....$$$$.....$$$$!
7. `
8. #######################
9. 
   
10. 
    
11. I FEEl LikE Having Mini HEart
12. Attack.....$$$$.....$$$$ WhEn I Dont Find
13. My MobilE My PockEt.....$$$$.....$$$$
14. And,
15. Its Almost LikE HEart Fail,
16. WhEn I SEE It In My FathErs Hand.....$$$$.....$$$$!
17. `
18. #######################
19. 
    
20. 
    
21. Dil To Krta H Ki Chhod Jau
22. YE Zalim Duniya
23. Phir Khyal Ata H Ki Mummy
24. Ki HonE Wali "Bahu" Ka
25. Kya Hoga??
26. ('¡')/ Na Ji Na
27. ( (
28. ! !
29. .....$$$$
30. Program CancEl.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$
31. `
32. #######################
33. 
    
34. 
    
35. Husband: Sunti Ho, MEri Maa Aayi Hai.....$$$$
36. WifE: YE Bhi Na Jab DEkho Yahin Aa
37. Jaati Hai Ab Kya Kaam Hai?
38. Husband: ArE 2kg Pyaaj Bhi Layi Hai.....$$$$
39. WifE: Aap Bhi Na.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$ PEhlE Nahi Bolna
40. Tha Maa Aayi Hain.....$$$$ Kabhi Kabhi To Pyaar
41. Aur Ashirwaad NasEEb Hota Hai Badon Ka.....$$$$
42. `
43. #######################
44. 
    
45. 
    
46. Hum Kal Raat Aasmaan PE
47. TumharE LiyE SitarE LEnE
48. GayE Par Khali Hath Wapas
49. Aa GayE JantE Ho Q
50. Qki
51. PolythEEn To Ghar Par Hi
52. Bhul GayE ThE.....$$$$ ;-)
53. `
54. #######################
55. 
    
56. 
    
57. Girls HostEl ME Aag Lag
58. Gayi, Pas Hi K Boys HostEl
59. K Ladko NE HElp Ki.....$$$$ Tv Pr
60. NEws Aayi aag PE Kabu Pa
61. Liya Gaya HE, LEkin Ladko Par
62. Kabu PanE Ki Koshish Jari Hai.....$$$$
63. 
    
64. `
65. #######################
66. 
    
67. 
    
68. Machhar Bola Insaan SE
69. Mat Maro HumE Jaan SE,
70. Jang Chhid JayEgi,
71. Dushmani Badh JayEgi,
72. Mana Ki Aap ME Junoon H,
73. Par Humari Ragon ME Bi
74. To Aap Hi Ka Khoon.....$$$$
75. `
76. #######################
77. 
    
78. 
    
79. Bahut Muskil Ho Jaata Ha
80. Us Waqt Jabaab DEna
81. Jab Banda Bathroom ME Ho.....$$$$.....$$$$
82. .....$$$$
83. .....$$$$
84. Aur Girlfrnd PoochE LE.....$$$$.....$$$$
85. Jaanu Kya Kar RhE Ho.....$$$$.....$$$$?
86. `
87. #######################
88. 
    
89. 
    
90. A man kills DEER & cooks it &
91. doEsnt tEll kids what it is?
92. HE givEs a CluE.....$$$$.....$$$$ 
93. its what ur Mom calls mE!
94. Son ShoutEd: Koi mat
95. khana.....$$$$.....$$$$ KUTTA hai KUTTA!!
96. `
97. #######################
98. 
    
99. 
    
100. Machar Ka Bacha PEhli
101. Bar Uda, Jab Wapis Aya
102. Baap NE Pucha? Kaisa Laga
103. UdkE? Machar Bola Bahut
104. Acha Papa, Jidhar Bi Gaya
105. Log Taliya BajarhE ThE.....$$$$.....$$$$
106. `
107. #######################
108. 
     
109. 
     
110. Chota Bachcha: UnclE Gora
111. KarnE Wali KrEEm Hai ?
112. Dukandar: Han Hai!
113. Chota Bachchato: SalE Lgata
114. Q Nahi Mai Roj Dar Jata Hu !
115. `
116. #######################
117. 
     
118. 
     
119. ('.....$$$$') Lo Ji
120. <)'(> Arz
121. _/'/_ Kiya Hai.....$$$$
122. 
     
123. Dunia MEin Bahut
124. Dard E Tanhai Hai
125. 
     
126. \('',)/''Wah
127. \ \ Wah
128. _/ \_ Wah
129. Zalimo Tum B Msg Kro
130. MEri Kya Muft Ki Kamai Hai.....$$$$
131. 
     
132. `
133. #######################
134. 
     
135. 
     
136. 1 Glass Pani Lo UsmE
137. NEEm Ki Patti Dalo 2
138. hours K LiyE Rkhdo Phir
139. 10 Mingaram KarkE PEElo
140. Jab Kanjusi K KEEdE Mar
141. JayE Fir Sms Kr DEna.....$$$$.....$$$$
142. `
143. #######################
144. 
     
145. 
     
146. Doctor To InjurEd PatiEnt
147. Jab Car Ek Lady Chala Rahi
148. Thi To TumhE Road SE Duur
149. Chalna Chayi Tha.....$$$$
150. .....$$$$
151. .....$$$$
152. PatiEnt: AbEy Kon Sa Road?
153. ME To Park ME LEta Huaa Tha.....$$$$
154. `
155. #######################
156. 
     
157. 
     
158. Books SaamnE Rakh Kar B
159. Na PadhnE DEnE Wali Kaali
160. Shakti Ko Kya KEhtE Hai?
161. .....$$$$
162. .....$$$$
163. .....$$$$
164. .....$$$$
165. .....$$$$
166. .....$$$$
167. Ans: MobilE
168. `
169. #######################
170. 
     
171. 
     
172. Finally,
173. I Told My ParEnts That
174. I Want A BlackbErry Or An
175. ApplE
176. My MothEr Said:
177. .....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$
178. "Ghar MEin Mosambi Hai,
179. PEhlE Woh Kha"
180. `
181. #######################
182. 
     
183. 
     
184. Ek Conductor Ki Shadi Ho
185. Rahi Thi, Jab Dulhn PhEro
186. KE Waqt UskE Pas Akar
187. Baithi To Vo Bola Thoda
188. Pas Ho K Baith, Ek Sawari
189. Or Baith Sakti Hai.....$$$$ :-)
190. `
191. #######################
192. 
     
193. 
     
194. GirlfriEnd Ki SistEr Agar MissEd
195. Call KarE To UssE Kya KahEngE….....$$$$?
196. .....$$$$
197. .....$$$$
198. .....$$$$
199. .....$$$$
200. .....$$$$
201. .....$$$$
202. BEtaaa.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$
203. Mann ME Dusra Laddu Phoota.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$
204. 
     
205. `
206. #######################
207. 
     
208. 
     
209. Kitna Lucky Hoga Wo BoyfriEnd.....$$$$
210. Jiski GirlfriEnd.....$$$$
211. .....$$$$
212. .....$$$$
213. .....$$$$
214. .....$$$$
215. UssE KahEgi: Jaanu Tum PhonE
216. Rakho, Mai Call Karti Hu
217. `
218. #######################
219. 
     
220. 
     
221. Girl: Fish Tank Ko DEkh K
222. Boli Machliya Itni Sundar
223. Kyun Hoti HE?
224. .....$$$$
225. .....$$$$
226. Boy: SpritE PitE HuE Kyunki
227. Wo KapdE Nahi Pahnti.....$$$$.....$$$$!
228. Sidhi Baat No Bakwas!
229. `
230. #######################
231. 
     
232. 
     
233. Humko To "BottlE" NE Loota
234. "Paava" ME Kha Dum Tha,
235. HumarE To BottlE Bhi FootE
236. Janha "ThEka" Band Tha.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$!
237. `
238. #######################
239. 
     
240. 
     
241. Duniya ME Kuch AisE
242. GadhE Hai, jinhE Har Sawal
243. Ka Jawab sirf Na MEin
244. DEna Ata Hai, kya Aap
245. Bhi Un ME SE Ek Hai ?
246. `
247. #######################
248. 
     
249. 
     
250. Upar WalE NE Apko BhEja To
251. BhEja Par BhEja To Aisa
252. BhEja K BhEjE ME BhEja Hi
253. Nahi BhEja Dont Mind YE MujhE
254. Kisi Or NE BhEja To MEnE
255. Apko BhEja DEkha MEra BhEja
256. `
257. #######################
258. 
     
259. 
     
260. 3 Most Difficult Things
261. To Do In ThE World.....$$$$.....$$$$
262. 1.....$$$$ You Cant Count Ur Hair.....$$$$
263. 
     
264. 2.....$$$$ You Cant Wash Your EyEs
265. With Soap.....$$$$
266. 
     
267. 3.....$$$$ You Cant BrEathE WhEn
268. Your TonguEis Out.....$$$$.....$$$$
269. 
     
270. Now PlEasE Put Ur TonguE
271. Back InsidE.....$$$$.....$$$$
272. 
     
273. `
274. #######################
275. 
     
276. 
     
277. YE Kash FaaslE Na HotE, Kash
278. Hum Tum SE Door Na HotE, Kash
279. Hum Aur Tum Saath HotE, To Sms
280. KE PaisE Bacch JatE, Or Hum
281. Dono In Paisoo SE Kurkura KhatE!
282. `
283. #######################
284. 
     
285. 
     
286. GF: HaM BaHuT BaDNaaM Ho
287. CHuKE H
288. Ab HaME SHaDi KaR LENi ChAHiYE
289. BF: LEKiN ItNi BaDNaaMi K
290. BaaD TuMSE SHaDi KaREGa KoN.....$$$$
291. `
292. #######################
293. 
     
294. 
     
295. Jindagi BEhaal Hai, Sur Hai
296. Naa Taal Hai, Msg Box Bhi
297. Kangal Hai, Kya Aapki Sms
298. Factory ME Hadtal Hai, Yaar
299. Kuch To BhEjo YE MEri, MobilE
300. Ki Zindagi Ka Sawaal Hai.....$$$$
301. `
302. #######################
303. 
     
304. 
     
305. <('.....$$$$')>Chingu
306. <('.....$$$$')>Pingu
307. <('.....$$$$')>Mingu
308. Kya YE BacchE ApkE Hai,
309. Agar Nahi To AagE BhEj Do,
310. JiskE HongE Rakh LEgE.....$$$$
311. Surat Mil Rahi Thi To
312. Laga ApkE HongE.....$$$$.....$$$$
313. `
314. #######################
315. 
     
316. 
     
317. ''\ /"
318. | | HElp
319. ,/(.....$$$$".....$$$$)\,
320. 
     
321. Latka Diya Na Ulta?
322. Is Ka Kasur Pata Hai
323. Kya Tha YE MujE Sms
324. Nahi BhEjta Tha.....$$$$
325. Tum Bhi Soch Lo.....$$$$
326. `
327. #######################
328. 
     
329. 
     
330. WifE: TumhE Pyaar Karna Nahin
331. Aata.....$$$$
332. Husband: To Kya YE 3 BachchE
333. IntErnEt SE Download KiyE Hain.....$$$$?
334. WifE: Nahin YE To Padosi KE
335. PEndrivE SE LiyE Hai.....$$$$.....$$$$
336. 
     
337. `
338. #######################
339. 
     
340. 
     
341. Machhar Bola Insaan SE
342. Mat Maro HumE Jaan SE,
343. Jang Chhid JayEgi,
344. Dushmani Badh JayEgi,
345. Mana Ki Aap ME Junoon H,
346. Par Humari Ragon ME
347. Bi To Aap Hi Ka Khoon.....$$$$
348. `
349. #######################
350. 
     
351. 
     
352. TEchnology Kya Hai?
353. Ek TimE Wo Tha Jab Msg,
354. Kabutar SE BhEjtE ThE.....$$$$
355. Or Ek Aaj Ka TimE Hai Hum
356. Msg, Kabutaro Ko BhEj RhE
357. Hain.....$$$$.....$$$$ Hurrrr! Hurrrr!
358. `
359. #######################
360. 
     
361. 
     
362. HEight Of Addiction:
363. In A CollEgE Form, WhEn
364. AskEd About ThE "PErmanEnt
365. AddrEss", A StudEnt WrotE
366. "www.....$$$$facEbook.....$$$$com"!
367. `
368. #######################
369. 
     
370. 
     
371. Ek Aap Ho KitnE AchhE Ho
372. KitnE BholE Ho KitnE PyarE
373. Ho KitnE Smart Ho KitnE SwEEt
374. Ho Aur Ek Hum Hai Ki Jhooth
375. PE Jooth BolE Ja RahE Hai.....$$$$
376. `
377. #######################
378. 
     
379. 
     
380. Boss Hangs A PostEr In OfficE
381. "I Am ThE Boss, Do Not ForgEt"
382. HE REturns From Lunch,
383. Finds A Slip On His DEsk.....$$$$
384. "Ur WifE CallEd,
385. ShE Wants HEr PostEr Back HomE.....$$$$"
386. `
387. #######################
388. 
     
389. 
     
390. Girl To Boy (In Party): ExcusE ME!
391. Boy: YEs ?
392. Girl: MErE Ek Hath MEin PlatE Hai
393. Aur Ek Hath MEin Glass, I Can't
394. UsE ThEm.....$$$$.....$$$$ Kya Aap MErE FacE Pr
395. SE Ek ChEEz Hata SaktE Hain? 
396. Boy (VEry Happy): Ji Bolain Kya
397. Hataana Hai ?
398. .....$$$$
399. .....$$$$ 
400. Girl: Apni KuttE JEsi Nazarain!!
401. 
     
402. `
403. #######################
404. 
     
405. 
     
406. TEachEr: AnyonE Who Thinks
407. HE's Stupid May Stand Up!
408. .....$$$$
409. *Nobody Stands Up*
410. .....$$$$
411. TEachEr: Im SurE ThErE ArE
412. SomE Stupid StudEnts OvEr HErE!!
413. .....$$$$
414. *LittlE Johnny Stands Up*
415. .....$$$$
416. TEachEr: Ohh, Johnny You
417. Think You'rE Stupid ?
418. .....$$$$
419. LittlE Johnny: No.....$$$$.....$$$$ I Just
420. FEEl Bad That You'rE Standing AlonE.....$$$$.....$$$$
421. `
422. #######################
423. 
     
424. 
     
425. Rok Do MErE JanazE Nu
426. MErE Vich Jaan As Gai Hai,
427. Saaloo PEEchE Much KE DEkho
428. Sharab KE Dukaan Aa GyE
429. Hai.....$$$$.....$$$$ ChEErs.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$!
430. `
431. #######################
432. 
     
433. 
     
434. Girl1: How Was Ur 1st DatE
435. Girl2: Gud, &
436. Wo RaEs (Rich) Ghar Ka Lagta
437. Hai
438. Girl1: Wo KEsE ?
439. Girl 2 : MujhE Kiss KarnE
440. Aaya Tab UskE Muh SE Piyaaz Ki
441. SmEll Aa Rahi Thi.....$$$$.....$$$$
442. `
443. #######################
444. 
     
445. 
     
446. Aaj MujhE Ek Ladki KEhti,
447. MujhE FacEbook PE Id Bana
448. Do, MainE Kaha: TujhE Id
449. Chalani Aati Bhi Hai Kya.....$$$$??
450. .....$$$$
451. .....$$$$
452. Woh KEhti: Chala Aap LEna.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$
453. Main PicchE Baith Jaungi Lol
454. I LikE SMS - LikE: 51 - SMS LEngth: 173 - SharE
455. Tags: Funny SMS
456. 
     
457. V€€R PostEd In JokEs SMSAddEd 2 yEars ago
458. Bhgwan SE MainE Kha, HEy
459. Bhgwan MujhE Dard DE,
460. Sitam DE, Dukh DE, TEnsion DE,
461. Bhgwan BolE Kyu Guhma
462. FEraa K Bola Rha Ha,
463. SidhE SidhE Bolna TujhE
464. GirlfriEnds ChiyEa.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$!
465. `
466. #######################
467. 
     
468. 
     
469. Hum Dono Main CutE Kon?
470. Smart Kon? Dashing Kon?
471. SwEEt Kon? HandsomE Kon?
472. YE Sab Tum To Hoo NahE
473. Saktay To Bachaa Kon.....$$$$.....$$$$?
474. 
     
475. `
476. #######################
477. 
     
478. 
     
479. Hawa ChhalE LadkE BahgE,
480. Hawa ChhalE LadkE BahgE,
481. Gaur FarmiyEa,
482. Hawa ChhalE LadkE BahgE,
483. 
     
484. Hawa Nhi ChaltE LadkE
485. Nhi BahhgtE.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$!
486. `
487. #######################
488. 
     
489. 
     
490. WifE: Kal Rat Tum MujhEy
491. NEEnd MEin Galian Kion DE
492. RahEy Thai?
493. Husband: TumhEy Ghalat FEhmi
494. Hoi Hai.....$$$$.....$$$$
495. WifE: KEsi Ghalat FEhmi
496. Husband: YEhi K MEin NEEEnd
497. MEin Tha.....$$$$
498. `
499. #######################
500. 
     
501. 
     
502. Pagal Hai Wo Log Jo Ladkiyo
503. Ko Miss KartE Hai, Miss Karna
504. Ha To Machharo Ko Karo,
505. Jo Jaan HatEli PE REkh Kar
506. Aap Ko Kiss KartE Hai.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$!
507. `
508. #######################
509. 
     
510. 
     
511. 1 Admi Doston Ki MEhfil SE
512. Raat LatE Ghar Gaya Dosto
513. NE Pucha K WifE NE Kuch Kaha
514. To Nahi Admi Bola Nahi Kuch
515. Khas Nahi Bus YE 2 Dant To Mai
516. WEsay Bhi NiklwanE Wala Tha
517. `
518. #######################
519. 
     
520. 
     
521. Husband: Rat Ko MEnE 1 Horror
522. MoviE DEkhi, 1 Churail Kabhi
523. MErE AgE Kabhi PichE Aur Kabhi
524. Sath Chal Rahi Thi,
525. WifE: Kaun Si MoviE Thi?
526. Husband: Apni Shadi Ki
527. `
528. #######################
529. 
     
530. 
     
531. WifE: Suno Ji Doctor NE
532. MujhE Aik MahEEnay K Araam
533. K LiyE BEautiful ForEign Country
534. Janay Ko Kaha Hai.....$$$$
535. 
     
536. Hum Kahan JayEn Gay?
537. Husband: Doosray Doctor K Paas
538. 
     
539. `
540. #######################
541. 
     
542. 
     
543. Husband WifE MEin Larai Hoi,
544. Husband Ghar SE Chala Gaya,
545. Husb: Rat Ko PhonE Pay,
546. Khanay MEin Kia Hai
547. WifE: ZEhEr.....$$$$
548. Husb: Mai Dair SE Aonga,
549. Tum Kha Kar So Jana.....$$$$
550. `
551. #######################
552. 
     
553. 
     
554. WifE: Jaanu Kash Aap Sms
555. Hotay, Main Aap Ko SavE
556. Karti,
557. Husband: Jaan E Man, Kaash
558. Tum Ring TonE Hoti, Main HEr
559. Haftay TumhE ChangE Karta ;-)
560. `
561. #######################
562. 
     
563. 
     
564. Tofani Barish MEin Rat Ko,
565. Shop PEr 1 Admi Pizza LEnay
566. Aaya ShopkEEpEr: Aap MarriEd
567. HEin? Admin:is Tofani Barish
568. MEin Kia MEri Maa MujhEy Pizza
569. LEnay BhEjay Gi?
570. `
571. #######################
572. 
     
573. 
     
574. Suna Ha AapkE Muskurhat
575. Par Har Koi Marta Hai.....$$$$.....$$$$
576. Zara TimE Nikaal Kr Aana To 
577. Ek Chooha Maarna Hai.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$!
578. `
579. #######################
580. 
     
581. 
     
582. Ab 5rs.....$$$$ ME PayE Ek Naya
583. Sim JismE 20rs.....$$$$ Ka Card
584. SE 5000 Sms FrEE, 8am To
585. 8pm SharE Call FrEE For
586. MorE DEitals Log On To ja
587. Apna TowEr Khud LagalE.....$$$$com
588. `
589. #######################
590. 
     
591. 
     
592. TErE Pyaar KE Roshni AisE
593. Hai KE, Har Tarf Ujaala
594. Nazaar Aata Ha.....$$$$.....$$$$ Sochta Hu
595. K Ghar KE BijlE Katvaa Du
596. Kambhkt Bill Bahut Aata Ha.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$!
597. 
     
598. `
599. #######################